Thoughts and Observations

I am seeing where the more I focus on my dream, making it reality, I notice small connections that have happened throughout my life that had no “connection” previously, or perhaps my frame of mind was not accepting what was obvious to my heart? Or maybe it is more my propensity to overthink, analyze and not allow guidance or intuition to come through naturally? Probably the latter. It has been a life long habit, after all!

Tuesday, I was in a bit of a slump. So I did what I want to be doing every day; I prayed for guidance. Wednesday, my brother talked about his previous trip to visit an older brother. He was there for a while, just being. One day, he had an experience that was a big step for him. He knew it was time to move on. He later realized he was there for 40 days. This got me to thinking. It's a common Biblical theme for something to happen for 40 days. All too often, people make minor changes for 40 days, but don't do anything significant enough to be of consequence. I have to make it significant if I'm going to do it! In my need to plan, once I relocate to South Cotabato and have had some time to get myself adjusted, am thinking I will go to El Kuda for 40 days. In the mornings, I will wake up and wander around in the mountains. I will come back for food and to hang out with family, then head back. I fantasize about sitting on the mountain, watching activities of the village and listening to people and animals carrying on about their day. Other times, I would like to wander away a mile or more. I will decide when I am there, in The Moment and try to catch my analytical mind when it attempts to take over.

I remember at the age of 5 or 6, playing certain notes on the family piano. I wasn’t interested in learning how to play, really, just played certain notes. I had no idea why, yet, when I was feeling very happy, I would stop and play those notes. Fast forward to the night of my Calling, December 12, 2018, 45 years after playing on the piano. I was watching the video that triggered my Calling to the Tboli tribe. I was taken aback, in shock as my heart opened and the connection was made between my inner child who played notes on a piano to the instrument being played in front of me, across the world, through social media. The notes were identical.

Another memory was brought into play of myself as a child, hearing “Dreamweaver” by Gary Wright. As I listened to the song, my mind would show me pictures of someone sitting down, weaving fabric. When the line, "Welcome to the Land of the Dreamweavers" was said, I felt a strong emotional tug. Moments later, seeing the T’boli Dreamweavers, I recognized what I had always imagined when I heard that song.

My heart sang to see these connections!

Thursday, at lunchtime, someone posted the question on facebook, "If your life was made into a movie, what song would be playing at the beginning?" My first thought was "A Time For Fear" by the Art of Noise. This song fits because there is a lot of chaos, followed by a bit of peacefulness, then more chaos, then peacefulness for the rest of the song. Why did I pick that song? In 1986, after I finished Navy boot camp, I went on to school to learn my job. I had 2 room mates and one of them had this tape, "Who's Afraid (of The Art of Noise)?" He played it once, and I liked it so started playing it all the time. The first song, “A Time For Fear”, seemed to resonate with my feelings at the time. My life had been a lot of chaos and noise up until that point. I found that when I went out and walked around, I felt real peace, perhaps for the first time in my life. That song became the symbol that connected with this feeling of peace.

Heading back to work, listening to “A Time for Fear”, I found that moment of peace and El Kuda came to mind. When I went to El Kuda for the first time April 02, 2019, I found myself at peace! This was the same peace I found during The Great Clarification. I realized the imagery in my mind from the song aligned with the imagery I recorded while flying my drone in El Kuda! The pieces connected and snapped together as a puzzle which brought forth an “OH F**K! Another connection!” exclamation.

Any time I am having trouble, all I have to do is start asking for guidance. I get reminded, somehow, that I am on the right path. El Kuda, I am coming Home!